Ballad of the PowerPoint Rangers
(To the tune of "The Green Berets")
Requests are made, from day to day,
Briefings held, and changes made.
Graphics slides, a must they say,
and PowerPoint is the only way.
Computers crash, and printers stall,
Overloading protocol.
Network's down and soldiers cry,
Briefing's late so heads will fly.
Pin PowerPoint Slides upon my chest,
Full-color slides, they look the best.
One Hundred Slides were made that day,
But only 3 were ever displayed.
A smile came on the General's face,
Slides were done and looked just great!
T'was up all night, worked really late,
Just to hear, the General state:
My soldier son, your slides were great,
Briefing's done, slides up to date.
One problem son, the color's wrong,
One more chance, or you go home.
So tell my mom, I've done my best.
Pin PowerPoint Slides on my chest.
One hundred slides were made that day,
But only 3 were ever displayed.
It was written on July 4, 1996 in Taszar Hungary at
about 3 am in the office of the ODCSENG USAREUR (FWD)
during Operation Joint Endeavor/Guard. LTC Jorge
Guiterriez was setting at a desk trying to get a slide
brief done on his computer and had about 250 slides he was
trying to reduce. It was just too much information for
one brief of about 15 minutes. So he had to chop them
down to the bare minimum. So the song was dedicated to
him. I know because I was the one who wrote the song.
Since that time it has been all over the world, and I take
great pride in the song. I was the night Engineer TOC
Operations Officer for COL Johnson. He was from the
130th Engineers in Germany. Our staff came from the 412th
Engineer Command in Vicksburg, MS. I was just an E-6 at
the time. We gave LTC Guiterriez his retirement party
yesterday in Vicksburg, MS and I dedicated a part II to
the song just for him at his retirement, along with the
remaining staff from that operation. There are only two in
the unit now from then, the rest that were there with
us are gone to play in the sand.
MSG Steven W. Rowland
412th Engineer Command
10 March 2003
(Power Point Ranger)
